Invest in Your Relationship: The Emotional Bank Account | The Gottman Institute

Ever wonder why some couples make it and others don’t? We’ve found it has a lot to do with the “Emotional Bank Account,” which represents the balance of positivity and negativity in your relationship. As relationship researcher Logan Ury explains, you make "deposits" through positive interactions and you make "withdrawals" through negative ones.

In healthy relationships, the ratio of positive behavior (showing interest, asking questions, being kind) to negative behavior (criticism, anger, hurt feelings) is 5:1. Keep your balance high by doing nice things every day for your partner and recognizing when they do nice things for you.