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    • Atomic Habits
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    • Spoon theory — for atypical energy levels
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    • Dopamine Detox
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    • Mistakes Were Made, But Not By Me (Cognitive Dissonance)
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    • Anatomy of Anxiety and Panic
    • When Things Fall Apart
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    • 8 c's
    • State Specific Memory
    • 5 Common Regrets
    • Resentment defined
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    • Grief Recovery & Feeling Lighter Study
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    • Grief Books For Many Loss Situations
    • Free Grief Support --- Compassionate Friends
    • 13 Strategies For Overcoming Shame
    • 13 Self-Compassion Phrases
    • Cognitive Dissonance
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    • IFS -Internal Family Systems Study
    • What My Adult Autism Diagnosis Finally Explained
    • Diagnosed as an Adult
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    • Zeigarnik Effect
    • Trauma Recovery
    • The Voices In My Head
    • Difference between Panic Attack and Heart Attack
    • Emotional Wheel
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    • Mindfulness In Plain English
    • Gentle Belly Breathing
    • Divorce Recovery
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    • Meditation & Brain
    • Subconscious Cue Word Procedure
    • Practicing Compassion
    • Bipolar 1 vs. Bipolar 2
    • Psychiatrist Referrals
    • Emotionally Focused Therapy For Couples
    • Male and Female Brain
    • BiPolar 1 & 2 Described
    • Sleep
    • ADHD Explanation
    • Cognitive Bypassing
    • Accountability
    • What happens when we sleep
    • Grief rewires after losing someone
    • Adjusting to What Is True
    • The Loss A Very Good Dog and Grief
    • Primal Wound: The adopted child as an adult
    • Signs of Autism in Adults
    • ASD - Autism Spectrum Disorder
    • Stress and inflammation
    • Gottman Couple Counseling
    • Personal Plan For Change In Your Relationship
    • Repair After An Argument
    • Four Horsemen
    • Make Better Bids for Connection
    • Couples On The Brink: Leaning Out or In?
    • Flexible and Core Needs in Relationship
    • The Emotional Intensity Meter
    • Emotional Flooding
    • Window of Tolerance
    • UNSOLVEABLE PROBLEMS: Dreams Within The Conflict
    • TIMEOUTS for Relationships
    • The CIRCLEBACK
    • The PAUSE sooner
    • RESENTMENT (CONTEMPT): It can kill your marriage and make you sick too.
    • How Enduring Vulverablities Are Affecting Your Marriage
    • Perpetual Problems and Solvable Problems
    • Accepting Influence
    • Gottman Love Lab
    • The Four Moves Of Being Heard
    • Stonewalling
    • Online Relationship Checkup
    • Sound House Of Relationship
    • Vulnerable and Protective Emotions
    • WE ARE JUST DIFFERENT PEOPLE!? WHAT CAN I DO!???
    • Feelings/Needs and Requests
    • Two Kinds of Domestic Violence
    • Steps to Start Couple Therapy Video
    • Self Soothing
    • Complaint Formula
    • 3 Bad Reasons To Separate, And One Good One
    • Shared Meaning
    • State of the Union Check In
    • Couple Development Scale on Differentiation Spectrum
    • Differentiation in Relationships
    • Disappointment
    • Anger is hot. Contempt is cold.
    • Compassionate Agreements vs. Rules
    • Stop Trying to Fix Your Partner's Feelings
    • Sustained Behavior Change
    • The Five Love Languages
    • How To STOP A FIGHT
    • 3 Common Problems in ALL Relationshpips
    • Second Order Change
    • NVC - Non Violent Communication
    • Five Languages of Apology
    • Tell Me No Lies
    • Gottman 7 Principles Book Summary
    • How To Complain Without Hurting Your Partner
    • Hanging Onto To Yourself, and Being Close
    • Don’t Feel Attacked
    • How To Get The Most Out Of Couples Therapy
    • Why Relationships Are So Hard
    • How You Know You Are In The Green
    • Gottman Couples Counseling Study
    • A List Of Core Needs
    • Understanding Must Precede Advice
    • Emotional Bank Account
    • Verbally Abusiveness in Relationships
    • Gottman Charts
    • Eroticism & Self-Care Plan
    • Are You a Sex Addict? 10 Questions to Ask Yourself
    • Sexual Closeness
    • NEED BASED Conversations - NVC
    • Premarital and Dating
    • 52 questions before moving in
    • Marital Separation
    • NVC NEEDS INTERACTIVE
    • The Gray Divorce
    • Emotional Affair Stages
    • The Grief of an Affair
    • Infidelity Recovery
    • Ghosting Damage
    • Friendship honesty or not?
    • 3 Reasons Couple Come to Counseling
    • Love Maps
  • About
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Don Elium Psychotherapy

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925 256-8282
Northern & Southern California TeleHealth

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Don Elium Psychotherapy

  • Blog
  • Sessions
    • Individual Sessions
    • Couple Sessions
    • Grief Recovery Sessions
    • EMDR Sessions
  • Individual-Study
    • The Stages of Actual Change
    • Power of Vulnerablity
    • Stop Dumb Arguments, before you begin them
    • Listening to Shame
    • Forgiveness and anger
    • There is nothing wrong with you, beyond self hate
    • Atomic Habits
    • How Grief Rewires Your Brain
    • Spoon theory — for atypical energy levels
    • Compassionate Friends Support Group
    • Compassion: It is an human instinct
    • What Is Narcissism?
    • Dopamine Detox
    • Cognative Dissonance
    • Mistakes Were Made, But Not By Me (Cognitive Dissonance)
    • BREATHING and anxiety reduction
    • The Gift of Fear -- Trusting Your Gut
    • Body Based Release
    • Anatomy of Anxiety and Panic
    • When Things Fall Apart
    • Boundaries
    • 8 c's
    • State Specific Memory
    • 5 Common Regrets
    • Resentment defined
    • Addiction and Recovery
    • Grief Recovery & Feeling Lighter Study
    • Grief/Trauma Recovery Letter Process
    • Grief Books For Many Loss Situations
    • Free Grief Support --- Compassionate Friends
    • 13 Strategies For Overcoming Shame
    • 13 Self-Compassion Phrases
    • Cognitive Dissonance
    • Internal Family Systems
    • IFS -Internal Family Systems Study
    • What My Adult Autism Diagnosis Finally Explained
    • Diagnosed as an Adult
    • Attention Deficit Disorder
    • Zeigarnik Effect
    • Trauma Recovery
    • The Voices In My Head
    • Difference between Panic Attack and Heart Attack
    • Emotional Wheel
    • Attachment Injury Trauma Recovery
    • Mindfulness In Plain English
    • Gentle Belly Breathing
    • Divorce Recovery
    • Introversion
    • Dating and Finding A Partner
    • Meditation & Brain
    • Subconscious Cue Word Procedure
    • Practicing Compassion
    • Bipolar 1 vs. Bipolar 2
    • Psychiatrist Referrals
    • Emotionally Focused Therapy For Couples
    • Male and Female Brain
    • BiPolar 1 & 2 Described
    • Sleep
    • ADHD Explanation
    • Cognitive Bypassing
    • Accountability
    • What happens when we sleep
    • Grief rewires after losing someone
    • Adjusting to What Is True
    • The Loss A Very Good Dog and Grief
    • Primal Wound: The adopted child as an adult
    • Signs of Autism in Adults
    • ASD - Autism Spectrum Disorder
    • Stress and inflammation
  • Relationship-Study
    • Gottman Couple Counseling
    • Personal Plan For Change In Your Relationship
    • Repair After An Argument
    • Four Horsemen
    • Make Better Bids for Connection
    • Couples On The Brink: Leaning Out or In?
    • Flexible and Core Needs in Relationship
    • The Emotional Intensity Meter
    • Emotional Flooding
    • Window of Tolerance
    • UNSOLVEABLE PROBLEMS: Dreams Within The Conflict
    • TIMEOUTS for Relationships
    • The CIRCLEBACK
    • The PAUSE sooner
    • RESENTMENT (CONTEMPT): It can kill your marriage and make you sick too.
    • How Enduring Vulverablities Are Affecting Your Marriage
    • Perpetual Problems and Solvable Problems
    • Accepting Influence
    • Gottman Love Lab
    • The Four Moves Of Being Heard
    • Stonewalling
    • Online Relationship Checkup
    • Sound House Of Relationship
    • Vulnerable and Protective Emotions
    • WE ARE JUST DIFFERENT PEOPLE!? WHAT CAN I DO!???
    • Feelings/Needs and Requests
    • Two Kinds of Domestic Violence
    • Steps to Start Couple Therapy Video
    • Self Soothing
    • Complaint Formula
    • 3 Bad Reasons To Separate, And One Good One
    • Shared Meaning
    • State of the Union Check In
    • Couple Development Scale on Differentiation Spectrum
    • Differentiation in Relationships
    • Disappointment
    • Anger is hot. Contempt is cold.
    • Compassionate Agreements vs. Rules
    • Stop Trying to Fix Your Partner's Feelings
    • Sustained Behavior Change
    • The Five Love Languages
    • How To STOP A FIGHT
    • 3 Common Problems in ALL Relationshpips
    • Second Order Change
    • NVC - Non Violent Communication
    • Five Languages of Apology
    • Tell Me No Lies
    • Gottman 7 Principles Book Summary
    • How To Complain Without Hurting Your Partner
    • Hanging Onto To Yourself, and Being Close
    • Don’t Feel Attacked
    • How To Get The Most Out Of Couples Therapy
    • Why Relationships Are So Hard
    • How You Know You Are In The Green
    • Gottman Couples Counseling Study
    • A List Of Core Needs
    • Understanding Must Precede Advice
    • Emotional Bank Account
    • Verbally Abusiveness in Relationships
    • Gottman Charts
    • Eroticism & Self-Care Plan
    • Are You a Sex Addict? 10 Questions to Ask Yourself
    • Sexual Closeness
    • NEED BASED Conversations - NVC
    • Premarital and Dating
    • 52 questions before moving in
    • Marital Separation
    • NVC NEEDS INTERACTIVE
    • The Gray Divorce
    • Emotional Affair Stages
    • The Grief of an Affair
    • Infidelity Recovery
    • Ghosting Damage
    • Friendship honesty or not?
    • 3 Reasons Couple Come to Counseling
    • Love Maps
  • About
  • Policy
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Blog

EMOTIONAL RELIABILITY

November 8, 2024 Don Elium

Emotional reliability refers to the consistency and dependability with which a person responds to others' emotional needs, particularly in relationships. An emotionally reliable person provides a stable and predictable presence, especially during stress, conflict, or vulnerability. This reliability helps build trust, as others know they can count on this person to handle emotional situations with care, empathy, and sensitivity.

Key Characteristics of Emotional Reliability:

  1. Consistency: They respond stably regardless of the situation.

  2. Empathy: They genuinely understand and validate others' emotions.

  3. Predictability: Their reactions are calm and measured, avoiding dramatic mood swings.

  4. Availability: They are emotionally present when needed, offering support.

  5. Non-judgmental: They listen without criticizing or dismissing others' feelings.

Examples of Emotional Reliability:

  1. In a friendship:

    • Imagine a friend who always listens attentively when you need to vent after a difficult day. They offer support without distraction, make you feel heard, and check on you afterward to see how you’re doing. This friend is emotionally reliable because you can trust that they will consistently be there when you need emotional support.

  2. In a romantic relationship:

    • A partner who stays calm and understanding during a disagreement, rather than becoming defensive or dismissive, shows emotional reliability. They prioritize finding a resolution and maintaining emotional connection, even in conflict.

  3. In a parent-child relationship:

    • A parent who consistently provides a safe space for their child to express their feelings without fear of being reprimanded is approachable and nurturing. Whether the child is angry, sad, or happy, the parent offers guidance or comfort.

  4. At work:

    • A manager who maintains an open-door policy listens to employees' concerns without jumping to conclusions or reacting with frustration. Employees know they can approach the manager with problems, confident they will be met with understanding and support.

In all these examples, emotional reliability builds trust and fosters healthier relationships, as people feel secure in knowing their emotions will be met with care and respect.

NOTE: Practicing the skills to increase emotional reliability is challenging. In other words, this is not easy but doable in small, compassionate steps.

← The Difference Between Schizophrenic-related Voices and the "Inner Voices" of Most PeopleYour Emotional Window of Tolerance: How to know when the intensity is too much! →
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Don Elium, MA MFT Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist MFC#28381 (NPI# 1124427711)

A TeleHealth Service for all of CALIFORNIA • Office in San Francisco Bay Area, USA

“The moment you accept what troubles you’ve been given, the door will open.” - Rumi.

“The past does not create the present unless you insist.” — Alan Watts

“There is nothing wrong with you. Life is just harder than you ever expected.” —- David Schnarch

Email: don@don-elium-psychotherapy.com. 925 256-8282 (text/phone)

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