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Do a Relationship Graph. Put the things that are significant hurts and losses below the line, with something positive about the relationship above the line. Linking both positive and negative things are done to “humanize” the person and relationship not to cancel anything out or to balance things.  This helps reduce the glorification and demonization reactions that the mind can have in the grief process.  The point here is that humans are not perfect and not totally flawed. You don't have to include every event in your life with that person, just the ones that come to your attention while doing the exercises. Start with your earliest memory of the person and make the timeline extend to today. Mark the entry on the timeline with your age or year.  This part of the process opens up your emotional memory and gives more access to the emotional narrative that is in your unconscious that can be triggered and can capture your attention in negative emotional circular conversations in your head.


Step 1 TIMELINE  Step 2 LISTS   Step 3 LETTER Step 4 READING