Welcome to Gott Sex?, a unique website about how to make real love, not just impersonal shallow sex. What's different about this site? Lots of sex education sites are all about the mechanics - lick here, touch there, try this new contorted position, add some whipped cream... And those are fine. But few (if any) of these sites teach you how to make sex deeply meaningful and intimate. And once you've had personal and deeply loving sex, you'll agree that intimate sex is definitely more fulfilling in every way.

To get what we mean when we say good loving sex, think about the difference between personal, loving sex and pornography. When people hear "pornography," they think of internet sites, videos or magazines. But "pornography" is also very common in people's sexual relationships, because at its core, pornography is about only getting off for yourself, and using your partner's body parts to both titillate you and bring you to orgasm. It has almost nothing to do with your partner's pleasure, needs, or feelings. There's no cherishing of each other. It's genital to genital release - and that's about it. Tits and ass. There's no building of emotional connection and closeness.

On the other hand, even though physical release may be involved, loving sex is a cherishing of each other's minds, hearts and bodies - the whole person that is our partner.

Couples who have loving sex treasure each other as irreplaceable, like the finest wine. They think of each other as "my beloved," not "the hot body I get to have tonight." They long to touch their partner not just to get off, but as a way to express the pure delight, warmth and awe that is the music of lovemaking.

In long-term and lasting relationships where couples enjoy intimate sex, they make love a lot over the years. But rather than getting bored, the lovemaking keeps getting better and better, because these couples communicate about their needs, their fantasies, and their feelings as those evolve over time. It's that ability to communicate about sex that we want to give you here: the tools to know your partner's wants, needs, special preferences, vulnerabilities, and delights, so you, too, can share in loving sex, and not just mess around with body parts. Loving sex leaves you close and fulfilled, not empty and alone.

Take a look around and explore what our site has to offer. Make sure to check out all the free content on our Gott Sex Blog. If you decide to give our program a try, do the exercises together with your partner and practice what you learn with each other. Overall remember this: every positive thing you do in your relationship is foreplay. No matter where you're starting from, you too have the potential to create loving and beautiful sex with your partner. So enjoy!

-Drs. John & Julie Gottman

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Frequently Asked Questions about Gott Sex Series

Q: Can I watch The Gott Sex? Series on my iPad, iPhone, or iPod?

A: Unfortunately Gott Sex? is not supported on these platforms at this time. You can, however, watch the videos from any laptop, PC, or Android device.

Q: Can I share my Gott Sex? membership with other people, i.e. with my spouse or with my friends?

A: You are encouraged to repeatedly watch this presentation and to share your log in information with your spouse or significant other.

However, sharing log in information with other people such as friends is not allowed. Accounts that have been shared among too many IP addresses and devices may be subject to deactivation for violation of the Terms of Use Agreement on our purchase page.

Q: Is there any nudity or explicit language in this presentation? Are these videos 'racy,' or 'pornographic,' in any way?

A: There is no nudity or explicit language in the Gott Sex? Series. The videos are purely educational in the PG-13 sense of the word.

Q: Can I view The Gott Sex? Series from outside of the USA?

A: While you can certainly view the videos, we have had reports of slow streaming speeds from regions such as South Africa, and Australia. If you live in these regions you might want to consider purchasing a physical copy of the Gott Sex? Series, available here.

Q: What sort benefits can my partner and I expect to gain in our sex lives from watching and practicing the tools in the Gott Sex Series?

A: The following 90 minutes will hopefully change your sex life drastically. You will find that the tools presented in the Gott Sex? Series are not superficial; they really are about building deep fundamental processes that will allow you and your partner to better connect, both physically and emotionally. Not only can you expect to have better, more pleasurable sex, but you will be happy to find that your overall communication, trust and affection with your partner - inside and outside of the bedroom - will increase as a result. The more you and your partner work on practicing what you have learned, the bigger results you can expect.

Q: If I am a mental health professional can I share my log in information with my clients or colleagues for them to watch?

A: Sharing log in information with clients and colleagues is not allowed. If you have purchased an account with us, you may however watch the videos with your clients when you are in a therapy session with them. You may also show your colleagues the videos when you are with them so that they can see for themselves if they would like to purchase our series to use with their clients.

Q: Is Gott Sex? a valuable resource for both heterosexual and gay and lesbian couples?

A: Absolutely. Gott Sex? was designed for both homosexual and heterosexual couples to use. The skills and tools learned in this presentation will benefit the sex lives of all couples regardless of sexual orientation. This is because at the heart of Gott Sex? is the idea that great sex really comes down to open and effective communication, great friendship, and intimate trust.

Q: Is Gott Sex? totally online, or can I order physical DVDs and materials to be sent to my address?

A: We are pleased to announce the release of the physical version of The Gott Sex? Series. You can purchase a physical copy of Gott Sex? here.

Q: What is the total price of the Gott Sex? Series?

A: As of now the total price of the Gott Sex? Series - that is, the 9 video modules, the 7 printable exercises, the bonus materials, and everything else that comes with the product - is available at a launch special price of $79.95, plus WA State tax. Just a heads up, this initial price may increase in the future without prior notification.

Q: How does purchasing a membership work?

A: Memberships can be purchased from our buy page. Membership to Gott Sex? is a one-time fee of the abovementioned purchase price. Once you pay, you have lifetime access to the site for as long as it exists!

Q: Why did you create the Gott Sex Series?

A: As therapists and researchers, we are tired of seeing people constantly come up short of satisfaction in their sex lives. Unfortunately, there are very few research-based tools out there for people who are trying to improve their romance, passion and sex with one another. The short answer is we wanted to do something about that. In this presentation we are really interested in helping couples with their everyday relationships; that is, helping them enjoy all aspects of their relationship, from conversations over coffee at breakfast to creating satisfying and romantic sex. Truth be told, we are more like plumbers than philosophers. Therefore, the tools that we offer you in this series are designed to be useful and practical.

Q: Will this product help those couples that have stopped having sex altogether?

A: Why do couples stop having sex in the first place? Usually the answer has to do with the fact that they have stopped communicating or have unprocessed conflicts or issues .Or they feel embarrassed, or rejected or undesired by their partner. Gott Sex will give you tools to help you in taking the first steps toward fixing these problems.

Q: Is Gott Sex? a valuable resource for couples dealing with the issue of porn addiction?

A: Good question, and yes! At the heart of the Gott Sex? Series is the idea that couples in committed relationships should have personal, loving sex, not impersonal pornographic sex. And once you've had personal loving sex with your partner, we think you'll agree with us that it is much more exciting and fun than impersonal sex ever was. Learning how to make sex personal, and to re-ignite the passion, is all part of our program.


If you think you need to change your Relationship, think again. It may well be that your marriage is trying to change you.

In Secrets of a Passionate Marriage, Dr. David Schnarch shares a revolutionary approach thousands have used to take their relationships to new and lasting heights of sexual ecstasy and intimacy. Emotionally committed relationships, he teaches, are people-growing machines, and sexual difficulty and other challenges are actually signs of a healthy, maturing relationship.

Moving beyond traditional therapies that work a little bit, Dr. Schnarch brings straight talk and humor to his three decades of expertise and offers insights into:

Course objectives:

  • Describe the process of differentiation in intimate relationships
  • Discuss why emotional gridlock is a critical and necessary phase for a healthy relationship
  • Recommend steps to achieving more passionate sex and a more intimate relationship
  • Explain how to "self-soothe" your anxieties and open to the full range of human eroticism
  • Interpret the psychology of sex
  • Emotional gridlock — why this critical phase is necessary for the healthy evolution of all relationships
  • How to "self-soothe" your anxieties and open to the full range of human eroticismThe psychology of sex — how to make an ally out of what you're really thinking during sex, and much more

With many proven exercises to "electrify" your sex life, heighten passion, and renew commitment, Secrets of a Passionate Marriage is sure to help your relationship reach its full potential, both in and out of bed.