8 C's of Self

Calmness - n. 1. a physiological and mental serenity regardless of the circumstances 2. the ability to react to triggers in your environment in less automatic and extreme ways 3. to be less vulnerable to adopting the common fight-flight-freeze response when threatened

Curiosity - n. 1. a strong desire to know or learn something new about a topic, situation or person 2. to have a sense of wonder about the world and how things work 3. genuinely interested in non-judgmentally understanding something or someone

Clarity - n. 1. the ability to perceive situations accurately without distortion from extreme beliefs and emotions 2. the ability to maintain one’s objectivity about a situation in which one has a vested interest 3. the absence of preconception and objection 4. the ability to maintain a “beginner’s mind” in which many possibilities exist

Compassion - n. 1. to be open heartedly present and appreciative of others without feeling the urge to fix, change or distance from them 2. an intuitive understanding that the suffering of others affects you because of your connectedness to them 3. to simultaneously have empathy for others and a belief that the other has a Self that once released can relieve his or her own suffering

Confidence - n. 1. to maintain a strong belief in one’s ability to stay fully present in a situation and handle or repair anything that happens with the belief that “no matter what, it’s all okay and will all work out the way it can” 2. to have healed from previous traumas and learned from previous failures to such a degree that their effect does not spill into the present 3. to understand that mistakes are only lessons to be learned

Courage - n. 1. strength in the face of threat, challenge or danger 2. the willingness to be take action toward a goal that others would find overwhelming 3. the ability to recognize the damage we do to others then take action to make amends 4. the willingness to reflect and “go inside” toward our own pain and shame, carefully examine it and act on what we see

Creativity - n. 1. the use of the imagination to produce original ideas 2. the ability to enter the “flow state” inwhich expression spontaneously flows out of us and we are immersed in the pleasure of the activity 3. the ability to create generative learning and solutions to problems 

Connectedness - n. 1. the state of feeling a part of a larger entity such as a partnership, team, community, or organization 2. a connection to a meaningful purpose or a higher calling above the circumstances of daily life 3. to be in a relationship with someone who truly knows and accepts you for who you really are 4. to be able to relax your defenses with others as you know that you won’t be judged or controlled and are not afraid of getting hurt because you have confidence that you can repair any damage or misunderstandings that may occur 


The 8 C's of Self is from ifs internal family systems

and adapted here by Don Elium, MA MFT

The Larger Self In The Therapist And The Client CLICK HERE!